


What You Have Done to Me

by sadbabyosborn (arka_r)



Series: Baby I'm Your Nucleus [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Frostiron Fest 2013, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Thor: The Dark World Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-16
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-04 08:30:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1078811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arka_r/pseuds/sadbabyosborn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's no love between them, it's not supposed to be. After all, everyone knows Tony Stark doesn't do love.</p><p>Yet, when Thor comes bringing the news of Loki's death, Tony mourns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What You Have Done to Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FancyKraken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FancyKraken/gifts).



> An entry to FrostironFest!
> 
> Prompt by FancyKraken: Tony and Loki had a secret relationship, but with Loki locked away Tony hasn’t seen him in months. When Thor returns to Earth after Malekith’s defeat he tells the Avengers of Loki and the nature of his death. Tony, while surprisingly devastated (he didn’t realize the extent of his feelings for Loki), gets suspicious and starts to believe that Loki is really alive. Secretly he tries to find out the truth and when he does he’s in for a shock (and a nice reunion). This could be a bit of an AU where Loki isn’t pretending to be Odin and could be somewhere/someone else.

It’s all started when Thor brought the news of Loki’s death. The Avengers and SHIELD took it almost too cheerfully, especially Clint Barton who whooped in joy, as if they were completely oblivious to Thor’s obvious grief. Steve Rogers tried to be polite by offering Thor his condolences. It was sincere enough that Thor couldn’t see what beneath: the man was a warrior and a death of an enemy meant fewer enemies to him.

They all agreed that the Trickster had earned his death, except Tony, who tried really, really hard not to fall to his knees right at that moment. If Thor noticed him slipping out of the room, he was grateful that the god didn’t follow him.

Tony didn’t know what had happened, why Loki’s death affected him more than it should be. The short fling they shared should not affect him that much. It happened just before Loki was transported back to Asgard, and it should be no more than mutual attraction towards each other’s bodies and brains. In Tony’s language, it was nothing but sex. No feeling, no attachment. So if anyone noticed and they asked why Loki’s death had such impact on him, he honestly didn’t have the answer.

Maybe because he believed Loki was infallible. The man had been knocked on the chest by his repulsor, electrocuted by the Thunder God himself, even threw about by the Hulk and still could walk away with his head held high. Maybe because he found that Agent Coulson, who was stabbed to death (by Loki himself, he might add), was actually still alive and kicking ass. Turned out the son of a bitch survived (and, from what Tony heard, extremely pissed that Fury had the gall to soil his rare collection of Captain America card with blood). It became a new verb in Tony’s dictionary; that they were all being Coulson-ed all these time.

Or maybe because the crazy god had enchanted him, metaphorically speaking. Loki was a mystery that Tony wanted to fiddle, an enigma that Tony wanted to solve. He was a greedy man, and he would get what he wanted. So he visited the fallen god, entrapped in yet another glass cage, after the battle of New York had died down and the cleaning team was doing their job.

Tony didn’t, quoting to Loki’s words, attempt to appeal his humanity. He just sat there, babbling about everything and nothing that crossed his mind (mostly about science, magic, and more science). When Loki finally talked, Tony’s brain almost had an orgasm. The knowledge that Loki kept was so vast that Tony wanted to dissect his head open to see where he kept all those knowledge.

Even in defeat, Loki’s eyes still shone brightly and promised chaos. The Avengers didn’t defeat Loki, because they couldn’t.

Two days after Thor came bringing the news of Loki’s death, Tony drowned himself in alcohol. Steve thought the man just needed some company, so he moved from his cute little apartment in Brooklyn to join Tony in his tower. Pepper thought he couldn’t cope with their separation. She couldn’t do anything, though. She was a CEO of Stark Industries and she was needed on the main branch. She merely apologized to Tony and checked his condition through Jarvis.

Only Thor who came to ask what happened, as the blond god fished him out of Tony’s own vomit.

Tony still had no answer why Loki’s death affected him so much. Staring at Thor’s puppy-like blue eyes hurt so much Tony couldn’t help sobbing a little. The moment he remembered that this was Thor, Loki’s brother, and Tony’s sob turned into full-out wailing.

Thor didn’t ask anything after that, which Tony was ultimately grateful. Afterwards, he helped Tony to clean himself and carried Tony to bed. He even brought Tony warm herbal tea from the pantry, bless his soul.

Something definitely changed after that night. Thor started to visit him in his lab whenever he came to the Stark Tower. He would usually sit somewhere around the corner or playing with DUM-E or strolling on the internet with Tony’s spare tablet (it turned out Thor could easily learn about Earth’s technology it was almost insulting to Tony). Occasionally, he would ask bits of whatever Tony was doing. Thor was a good listener although he mostly didn’t understand science from Tony’s perspective.

Thor always waited until Tony took a break. When he did, Thor would tell him pieces of his childhood. He told him that Loki often asked Thor to accompany him when he was practicing magic, just like Loki would often accompany Thor when he was practicing his sword. The barely-adult Thor often grew bored and he had no interest in magic his brother was so fond of, so he would usually leave Loki to his own device. When the now-adult Thor tried to find when the rift between him and his brother grew, he wondered if he showed perhaps a bit interest to Loki’s magic, Loki wouldn’t choose the path he walked now.

In battle, Tony started to find Thor guarding his back. Coincidentally, they shared the role as aerial combatants, so the other Avengers thought it was a part of the formation. Only Tony who thought it wasn’t as simple that; that it was Thor’s way to cope with his grief of losing Loki. Sometimes Tony thought grimly, that the one Thor wanted to protect was Loki, his brother. He couldn’t help but wonder if Thor saw him as a replacement of his brother.

Somewhere around early November, Tony started another binge. Steve went out for a mission from SHIELD, not that Tony cared anyway, so he was mostly alone in the tower. Eventually, Jarvis stepped in and called Thor, who immediately came straight from London, hair a mess after an undoubtedly hasty flight on Mjolnir Airlines.

The blond god snatched the bottle from Tony’s hand, helped him to the bathroom, then cleaning after his mess. Probably he called Steve too, because by the midnight the soldier was there.

The second day of the binge, though, Tony couldn’t handle Steve anymore. He was fed up with the same speech over and over again: You need help Tony, you should stop this Tony, don’t touch that bottle Tony. It was like broken recording. By the end of the day, Tony smashed the entire content of his mini bar and watched with sick satisfaction as the mixed alcohol seeped into his carpet. He didn’t realize that he cut himself several times with the broken glasses until the pain hit him in full force.

In the end, Thor was the only one he allowed to come close to him. That was what he liked from Thor. He didn’t preach, he didn’t judge, he didn’t tell Tony to stay away from the alcohol, he didn’t even ask Tony to find help. He just stood there, allowing Tony to weakly punch him as the drunken man rambled himself to sleep.

Then, Tony started to dream; that Loki didn’t die, that he came to Earth with that shit-eating grin that meant _chaos_ , that he stood there amongst the carnage, _alive_. Every time he was woken up from that dream, Tony wished it was real so hard, that Loki somehow didn’t die. It was a foolish hope, an impossible one, but it occupied a tiny fragment in his mind, nagging at him constantly until he couldn’t _think_.

Secretly from SHIELD’s prying eyes, Tony began some simulations. He hacked his way through SHIELD’s database of the event in New York and ordered JARVIS to subtly get a scan of Thor’s body whenever he could. He became so obsessed to learn about Aesir physiology, to find if there was a chance of Loki surviving a fatal blow to the chest. This time, not even Thor could dissuade him, and Tony started to lock himself in his lab, barring entry from everyone.

Until one night, two months after Loki’s death (Tony counted, he kept a counter on the bottom left of his monitors as a reminder), Thor knocked on his lab, as gently as he could, and Tony wouldn’t notice if JARVIS didn’t tell him.

“I want you to go with me”, Thor pleaded, his stupidly bright blue eyes shone in the light of Tony’s holographic panels. Loki’s eyes were also blue. Tony knew, because he was the closest to him before Loki threw him out of that window (and kissed his lips, that night after the invasion).

“Where?” Tony asked.

 “I’ll wait you in the Bay of New York, by the mouth of the Hudson River. And wear your suit if you must.” With that, Thor left.

Curiosity got him; it always did with Tony. So he suited up and flew straight to the New York Bay. Thor was already waiting him there, sitting by a fire. There was a small boat next to him; a plain looking boat filled with green clothes— _Loki’s_ clothes, he realized. An ornate dagger was placed over the clothes.

“What’s this?” Tony asked when he landed. His throat clogged with fresh tears. He knew exactly what it was, what Thor would be doing.

 “I wanted to prepare a funeral for my brother”, Thor answered, silently. “I-I thought you might want to come, to bid him goodbye.”

The _goodbye_ part was whispered almost soundlessly, but it hurt Tony _more_ than when Obie pulled the arc reactor out of his chest.

“He’s not dead, Thor”, Tony countered firmly, though his voice was shaking.

“Tony”, Thor pleaded. It punched Tony on the guts; Thor never called him by his first name. “I know that the news of Loki’s death affected you the most. Most of the times I could not accept of his death. But I-I was there… I held him in my arms when he took his last br—”

“He’s. Not. Dead”, Tony gritted, tears rolled on his cheeks. He didn’t want to hear it again, Loki’s last moment; didn’t want it to shatter the fragile illusion that he had died. Thor couldn’t see him crying. He didn’t need to, though. He probably knew from the way Tony took a shaky deep breath (though it sounded a bit tinny through the Mark-43 speaker). “He won’t die that easy. The Hulk smashed him like a ragdoll and he still could stand with minimum injury. Why do you think that a stab to the chest will kill him?”

“Because my mother was stabbed by the same weapon and she died”, Thor whispered.

It was totally not fair. Thor lost two people that he loved most, so logically he grieved more than Tony. However, Tony couldn’t think _logically_. His _logical_ mind would have accepted that Loki died, period. Loki died, Frigga died, so technically all Asgardian could die. Apparently, to live longer didn’t mean to live forever. And he didn’t want to _accept_ that.

He wanted to stop Thor from starting the funeral, wanted to kick and scream at him. Yet, he couldn’t move an inch as Thor released the boat to the sea, his Iron Man suit felt like a cage, a dead carcass trapping him inside. He couldn’t move when Thor raised his bow and shot a burning arrow to the direction of the boat. He wanted to stop the stupid arrow, wanted to catch it so the boat wouldn’t catch on fire. The boat had Loki’s clothes and Loki’s dagger. Those were not Loki’s clothes that he wore when leading alien army to New York, but more casual, like what Loki would wear daily. The dagger was also clearly well kept.

All he could do was to weep when the arrow finally hit its mark; the boat was finally engulfed in fire. So far, Tony could live in the illusion where Loki didn’t die. The funeral made Loki’s death more real. It made his death final and it _hurt_.

It was also more painful because there was no body to bury and no one but two of them to mourn. Sometimes, Tony wanted to blame Thor for leaving Loki’s body alone in that dead world of the Dark Elves. Sometimes, he also didn’t know whether he could bear to see Loki’s body. Loki from his memory was full of fire and spirit, both when he brought chaos to New York and when he writhe beneath him in pleasure. The God of Fire, people of old age used to call Loki, when Tony tried to read all Norse literature about Loki. To see him cold and lifeless… Tony didn’t think if he could handle that.

He wept, his tears landed to the HUD. He would have fallen to his knees if his suit didn’t prevent him for that. He kept on crying even after the boat all burned out and sunk, and Thor told that it was time to go home. He didn’t notice that at the same time, Thor’s eyes were brimming with tears and his hands that held the bow shook so hard.

So then, Tony finally accepted that Loki had died. He went to his lab and told Jarvis to delete all files labeled with ‘Summer Project’, everything including blood sample he stole from Thor when the blond god was asleep. He hesitated to delete the counter on the corner of his monitors though. When he finally deleted it, Tony felt like the fresh wound somewhere inside him was being ripped open again.

After that, he started functioning, though barely. He started eating like Steve asked him to, though sometimes he didn’t because he couldn’t stomach it. Every mealtime felt like a battle and every spoonful took all his guts.

When he agreed to ask for professional’s help, Steve was beyond joy and Pepper, the good girl Pepper, instantly called for the best therapist she could get access to (which of course, was the best of the bests). Coulson granted him sick leave permission until he was deemed able to function as Iron Man again, while Thor would accompany him to the therapist.

Each meeting with the therapist was painful and Tony would often turned into sobbing mess, he felt like a leaking faucet. After the meeting, Thor would bring him along into a small diner he found when exploring the city or a park where they would get vanilla ice cream from street vendors. They would talk about everything and nothing. Tony would ramble about some pending experiments from his lab and Thor would tell him about Jane in return.

Thor thought that being a playboy Tony would know more about love matter, so he asked for advice. It turned out that saving the world together wasn’t enough to bridge the awkwardness after being separated for two years and Thor felt like she was tiptoeing around him. Ironically, Tony wasn’t an expert in loving someone. Tony Stark didn’t do love. His last relationship with Pepper only lasted because of their professional relationship, so when it did ended, Pepper chucked the Iron Man helmet straight to Tony’s head and wanting to quit from Stark Industries, until Tony begged her to stay as CEO because she was clearly capable of that. He literally threw himself to the floor and hugged her knees to stop her from leaving.

He stopped drinking and started sleeping normally (as normal as Tony could have, often he would read scientific journals or skype-ing with Bruce, who was searching something somewhere in Alaska). Often he would sleep early in the evening and wake late in the afternoon. It was better though than not sleeping at all.

He knew that Steve and Pepper were working together to find and destroy all of Tony’s alcohol stash in the Stark Tower and his Malibu house. It meant nothing had Tony wanted to buy some more; he had all the money in the world so what was a bottle or ten for him? He didn’t, though, and Pepper would sometimes look at him endearingly like she was a proud mother, which sometimes irked Tony to no end. He allowed it just because he couldn’t find the energy to be mad at her.

He couldn’t be grateful enough, so when Christmas came around, Tony brought Steve and Thor along to his favorite tailor to make them the most expensive set of suit his money could pay for. Steve mostly felt ultimately bad when he knew how much the set of suit cost, as if he had started a genocide, but Tony didn’t care and the cost didn’t make him instantly poor so he insisted. In the end Steve compromised by throwing his year’s worth of salary as Captain America and as SHIELD advisor to a charity project as if it would make him less of an evil by spending so much money for some clothes. Thor, who as the Crown Prince of Asgard was used to have the shiniest of clothes, was grateful at most and promised Tony the same hospitality if Tony wanted to visit Asgard.

When the suit was done fitted and tailored, Tony roped them along to attend the Christmas party at Stark Industry headquarter. The press had gone crazy. Tony was born a media darling, so he smiled and waved to them like it was expected of him. Steve used to perform on stage and he was also used to the attention of the press anyway. Thor, though, the perfect golden Thor, was a prince and he carried himself as such, basking in their attention without noticing them as if the press were beneath him. All in all, Tony had the best Christmas party ever and he was actually sober.

Then New Year came and Tony, Steve, and Thor threw a small celebration. They ordered boxes of pizza and some bottles of cokes, because despite of what people believed, Steve couldn’t cook a damn bit, Tony would burn the whole tower if he attempted to cook, and Thor was more specialized in throwing whatever meat he got from hunt straight to the blazing pit. While they ate and drank, they shared some stories of their own. When it was Thor’s turn, Tony wanted to flee from the table because he sensed the upcoming of sensitive topic (a.k.a Loki). Instead, Thor told them the story of his first hunt.

Apparently, you were considered an adult when you participated in a hunt on Asgard, so of course young Thor was glowing with pride when his father finally granted him permission. They hunted bilgesnipe, some big scaly creatures with scary antlers and apparently were menace to Asgard as they were always trampling their merry way into the farmland. Tony laughed good-heartedly when Thor reached the part where he failed to spear the creature and fell to the pond of dung instead. The dung was so stink that even after five thorough baths he still smelled like a walking piece of shit. In the end, Odin forbade him to enter the feast because he would make the guests uncomfortable.

Tony then told them the stories about his childhood. Because Howard and Maria were usually busy in the Christmas Eve, they compromised with staying home with Tony in New Year. They held a small party, with just three of them. Sometimes Obie came too, bringing little Tony gifts and Howard a good wine. Steve was particularly interested about his old friend’s life. If Tony noticed how his eyes glistened listening to his story, he didn’t make a fuss of it.

The countdown to New Year came and went, and they went to their respective room after cleaning the table. It was snowing lightly outside so Tony asked Jarvis to open the window to let in the draft.

When he woke up, the window was closed and the heater was on. Tony felt more refreshed than he had ever felt. It felt good and it was New Year, so he felt somewhat the year would be better than ever. He went down to the kitchen to grab some coffee, when he heard Thor’s voice telling Steve a story of his childhood where Loki would trick him with illusions and Thor ended up chasing Loki’s shadow around the palace. It was supposed to be warm-hearting story where Loki still had some shred of innocence (and humanity). Instead it made Tony stop on his track.

Illusion. Stuttgart. Loki could make his illusions to do separate things. That _little shit_.

Tony turned tail to the elevator and straight to his lab, skidding a bit on the polished floor. He cursed to himself for not thinking about it earlier. It did passed his mind, of course, but it was hard to make assumption solely based on Thor’s story alone. From what he heard, the fight was messy. Their enemy was too strong and Thor was too busy to protect Jane _and_ beating the shit out of his enemies, so he didn’t have time to look after his own brother. That was the _key_ ; Thor didn’t keep his eyes on Loki all the time, so that moment Loki should’ve slipped away and faked his death.

“Jay, restore all files labeled with ‘Summer Project’ and give me the footages from Stuttgart”, Tony wheezed once he reached his lab. “Also replay the recording from Room 7802, date 09-20-2013.”

“ _Sir—_ ”

“No, _mute_ , I don’t wanna hear it from you”, he cut Jarvis off. “Apply Protocol 004834IL83598SO-LOCKDOWN. Get working now or I’ll put your core programming into a coffee maker and give it to Starbucks, don’t think I won’t. _Unmute_.”

He spent the morning watching the footage from Stuttgart and his living room when Thor told him in detail about Loki’s death in loop, trying to break words by words especially from Thor’s story. The lab was locked; the glasses of its windows darkened to black, and the elevator wouldn’t stop on this floor.

When he was done, he sat down and trying to put together the puzzle pieces. He believed that Loki survived by switching place with one of his illusion though he didn’t know how accurate that was. ‘ _Have you ever not falling for that_ ’, Loki from the feed on helicarrier mocked. Pretty damn accurate then, if Thor, Loki’s own (“ _He’s adopted”_ ) brother couldn’t even tell apart between Loki and his shadows. It should be a damn perfect illusion then if Thor strongly believed of his death.

However, it was all empty hypotheses without proof, so he spent the afternoon trying to make simulation to reenact the fight in the Dark Elves’ home planet. He got stuck on dead end as he found Thor’s description about the terrain lacking. He really wanted to come to Thor and shook him to describe the fuck out of the terrain in minute details. He couldn’t do that because it would make Thor and Steve suspicious all over again and then he would get dragged back to his therapist.

 _His therapist_ , Tony thought grimly. He was already progressing, as his therapist said, and so he was already scheduled to do small Avengers business. Small things, like visiting schools, attending charities, and such. He didn’t want to go back to point zero. So he would need to appear ‘normal’ as so not to alert everyone, to prepare answers with what the therapist would like to hear. In the end he got so frustrated he flipped a table and watched with sick satisfaction as it lay broke on the floor.

When he calmed a bit, a thought occurred to him. If Loki really died on the Dark Elves’ home planet, then perhaps his body was still there? Thor didn’t get to carry his brother’s body because it wasn’t kind convenient to carry a deadweight while beating the shit out of the Dark Elf (what was his name again?). Or could be a scouting party got to retrieve Loki’s body? Either way he needed to get to Asgard. He needed to solve this, or it would plague his mind. Again.

But first, he needed a suit, one that would protect him in exospheric condition. He didn’t know how the condition on Asgard or the Dark Elves’ planet, was it suitable to human or not. It wouldn’t hurt to prepare himself.

“Jarvis, open new file, save it in my private server and name it Project Mark XLIV.”

A hologram of his suit appeared in the air. It was still the barest concept and had icing problems like the previous models. He made a safety checklist so that he knew what he would need to survive the exospheric condition. When he was done adding the air filtration system and airtight system, the suit was bulky enough and overall suited more for space exploration than space combat. It was enough, as for now.

Tony was pouring himself another cup of celebratory coffee when Jarvis pinged him.

“Sir, Mr. Rogers wants to know if you’re alright. He asks you to reply this message immediately or he’s going to call Miss Potts”, Jarvis’ mechanical voice warned him.

Well, no, Tony could do a day without Pepper trying to guilt trip him.

“Alright, tell him I’m gonna out in a sec”, he clapped his hands. “Wrap it up, buddy. Lift up Protocol 004834IL83598SO-LOCKDOWN.”

Once the lift was unlocked, its door opened to show Steve with Thor in tow. If Tony didn’t know how head over heels Thor was towards his cute astrophysicist and how straight as an arrow Steve was, he would think those two were screwing each other’s brains out.

“Tony, do you know what time is it?” Steve asked, worry clear on his face.

“Dunno, Dad. Lunchtime?” Tony shrugged, his eyes instantly latched to the creamy lasagna on Steve’s hand. His stomach growled upon the sight of the glorious food. “Oooh, you’re a godsend, Steve.”

“You skipped breakfast and then lunch. When you didn’t appear on dinner, we start to worry”, Steve passed the plate to Tony’s waiting hands. He gobbled it up that instant.

“S’ry, got some ideas”, Tony tried to answer with his mouth full. Steve didn’t look at all impressed, while Thor looked perhaps a bit suspicious. Tony swallowed the food then continued, “C’mon Cap, don’t get your star spangled spandex pants all twisted. Y’know me, I can’t leave the science waiting. Ask Pepper.”

Both men didn’t look at all convinced, but when Steve’s shoulders slumped, Tony knew he relented.

“Fine then. What did you working on?” he asked, as he walked further into the lab. Tony’s eyes twitched. He tried really hard not to be peeved that they were practically invading his personal face, so he continued to eat.

“Suit upgrade.” Which was not a 100% lie. Well, maybe just 60%. “You guys wanna see?”

Without waiting their reply, he pulled up the hologram of his new suit. Who was he kidding to? He always loved to gloat. His brain was all that he had where Steve had his superhuman ability and Thor his hammer and his godly anatomy (nope, that didn’t sound dirty at all). Whether Steve and Thor could understand him, well, that was another matter entirely.

“That’s really cool”, Steve muttered after Tony explained the suit’s main function as space suit. “I mean, during my age, they can only dream to go to the moon.”

“I take that as compliment”, Tony grinned.

Steve listened to more of Tony’s ramblings. Thor, as usual, watched from afar, with DUM-E occasionally handing him things that he accepted with such endearment as if the little bot was a curious child. With his belly full, Tony could think more clearly and he got some new ideas to add, so he went back to tweak the suit again while muttering things. Exactly at midnight, Steve called it a day and forced Tony to go to sleep, no matter how much he whined and pouted. Tony relented in the end anyway.

That night, Tony tossed about in his bed, thinking that Loki was alive and on the loose. He looked to the window as if the crazy god would somehow appear there, despite the security on the tower already upped to the max since Loki used it to open the portal. Tony found it somehow not frightening at all and he slept dreaming about crazy laughter and the Empire State Building on fire.

When he woke up, Tony felt himself so hard it was almost painful, though out of habit he wore nothing when he went to bed. He took care of that, thought pulled back to glowing blue eyes and sultry curve of thin lips, and he came embarrassingly fast, shooting jets of his loads into his palms. He cleaned up after himself and went to shower.

After that, he felt less craggy and his mind finally found a direction to ran towards instead of wandering aimlessly that he did for past months. He had a plan instead of fulfilling lists that seemed so endlessly. It was exhilarating and he found himself almost shaking with excitement as he made his way down to the kitchen to fetch coffee and some breakfast (because according to Steve, coffee wasn’t included in main food group thus didn’t count as breakfast).

Steve saw Tony getting back to his lab as a good progress and happily provided him some breakfasts (mostly microwave heated stuff). Thor was there too munching on the last box of cookies. Before leaving the kitchen, Tony made mental notes to tell Jarvis to do some grocery shopping (which actually meant Jarvis would send any of Tony’s employer to do the shopping).

Back in his lab, Tony continued working on Mark XLIV. As for now, it looked more like what NASA would make and it appalled, so he threw it all and started from scratch. He pulled up the design from Mark 39 and started from there, adding Mark 42 prehensile function just because he could. He also redesigned the air filtration system which would enable him last longer in space. The air filtration system didn’t suit him so he also redesigned that too.

Around seven in the evening, Thor grabbed him from his lab and brought him for quick dinner. They went for Indian curry from nearby diner, which had ten levels of spiciness. Thor liked challenge so he ordered the spiciest curry the vendor could give. Tony chose the safest level of spiciness. It was quite palatable so he ate two servings.

For some weeks Tony concentrated with the concept until he deemed it ready for testing. He flew over the sky of Manhattan. When he reached certain altitude, though, the prehensile system showed its flaw. Ice grew on its seams and Tony’s arc reactor flickered for a second, which ultimately freaked him out. In the end, he crash-landed to the sea. He went back to the tower soaking wet and pissed as cat.

Tony started to live between working on his suit like a manic and sleeping like a log. When he slept, he dreamt of laughter that sounded more gleeful than maniacal and lips whispering sweet, sweet words into Tony’s ears. He usually woke up achingly hard, and oddly more refreshed than he’d ever had.

He still had the hard time with his therapist, though. The woman had been very good at pushing buttons that even himself didn’t know existed. She could sniff something and so were Steve and Thor. So far they hadn’t try to snoop deeper, but Tony knew it would explode in his face sooner than later.

Finally, his plan was complete, the design was freshened up, and Mark XLIV was waiting nicely on its launching pad. He only needed to find a way, and it would be all done.

So he waited.

Six months after Loki’s death (Tony put the counter back on), Thor announced that he was to return to Asgard for some kind of ceremony that required the Crown Prince. Tony was trying really, really hard not to leap out of excitement. This was his chance to prove his theories.

“Sooo, you’re gonna leave to Asgard?” Steve asked. It wasn’t surprising the way Thor was hesitant. There were only three of them now to handle any menaces who tried to thrash the NYC. Fortunately, as of late, there wasn’t any need for the Avengers to help aside from some thugs trying to rob a fast food restaurant, which happened somewhere after New Year (and the thugs had ran as if Death itself on their heels, although in fact Thor only made some threatening swings of his hammer). When Thor solemnly nodded, he continued, “Well you can go, you know. We can handle the situation here.”

“If you say so, my friend”, Thor muttered.

After they polished off the breakfast (leftover pizza from the night before), Steve and Thor strolled to the elevator. Tony followed close behind him, but not after he subtly gestured Jarvis to prepare Mark XLIV.

The balcony was redesigned with sturdier materials so that Thor could open the Bifrost right there. The only damage the Bifrost did was the intricate Norse knot pattern that was seemingly engraved almost permanently on the platform. At times Tony really wanted to study what kind of tech the Bifrost use, seeing that it was used both as a mean of travel and a weapon of mass destruction.

His only cue was when Thor looked up to the sky, waiting for the Bifrost to beam him up. Tony activated the suit and each piece of it flew from behind the nook on the living room. It smashed against the glass door heading to the balcony. By the time the light of Bifrost descended on the balcony, the suit had wrapped around his body.

When Tony popped his faceplate on, Steve realized it far too late.

“Tony—!” he moved to stop Tony, but Tony had already kicked on his thruster and jumped to the spot where Thor stood under the light of Bifrost. The next second, he was hauled up in the jets of light.

Colors, many colors of rainbow, danced in his visor. It was a light-speed travel, a theoretical physic in practice where an object moved in light speed or more. It should be impossible; it broke all the laws Tony had learned. That enough made the scientist in him nearly pissing in his suit.

The journey ended too fast for Tony’s liking, and he tried really, really hard not to hurl his stomach content as he was catapulted into a golden dome, only stopping when he collided onto the wall with a loud clang. Tony thanked many deities up and above that he had his suit on, but damn, his shoulder would show a spectacular bruise by the next day.

Tony staggered, but managed to stand on his feet. The mechanic of Bifrost had died down into whirs. Before him, Thor stood solemnly by a tall, menacing guard in golden armor. The two-handed sword the tall man was holding glinted dangerously in the strange light that illuminated the room. The man should be Heimdall, the Gatekeeper of Asgard that Thor often talked about.

“Tony…” Thor started. Tony lifted his palms and pointed the repulsor at the general direction of Thor.

“Take me…” he growled, his breath ragged. “… to the home-planet of the Dark-Elves.”

Both Asgardians were stunned into silence. It was a dangerous stake, Tony knew. He was betting on an unproven theory. But as a scientist, it would be either to do it or not, without regarding the possibility of the outcome. Whatever outcome he would gain, he would have an answer.

“Tony, if this is about my brother again…” Thor pleaded.

“Take me to the home-planet of the Dark-Elves!” Tony repeated harshly. He turned his head to the Gatekeeper. “To the Svarta-whatever is that! Take me there! Or I’ll shoot your prince!”

“My brother _is_ dead!” Thor bellowed.

“He’s not!” Tony encountered, his shout rang eerily in his ears. “He’s a Trickster and a Liar! You know he would trick you the moment you set his magic free! You know it! You know he’s alive! You only believe that he’s dead because if he’s not dead, it means he betrayed you! Again!”

Thor’s eyes narrowed dangerously, and that moment, Tony knew he was right.

Thor was lying to himself saying he didn’t trust Loki, because Thor would _always_ trust Loki. It didn’t matter that Loki would betray him again and again. Thor’s trust to his brother was real. It made Tony to giggle. Honestly, the thought didn’t occur to him until that moment.

“Who’s delusional now, Thor? We’re both living in fantasy, believing it’s real.” It wasn’t a sane giggle. It was desperate, and the next it turned into a full laughter.

“Now take me to the Svaftalhem.” Or whatever. “And see with your own eyes.”

Thor’s shoulders slumped and his eyes gleaming with tears. He turned to the Gatekeeper, who still eyed Tony warily.

“The guards of Asgard did indeed found the Prince Loki’s remains in Svartalfheim, but they did not retrieve it”, the Gatekeeper stated calmly.

“Heimdall…” Thor licked his lips, hesitated. “C-can you see the body? My brother’s body?”

The Gatekeeper’s expression remained still. “I could not see Svartalfheim, My Prince. The Aether magic was still too strong. It disturbs my vision.”

“But I destroyed—”

“You destroyed Malekith. You destroyed its host. Malekith died, but the Aether still exists”, Heimdall answered.

Thor looked down. “I see…”

“So there’s chance we can find Loki’s body there or…” Tony pondered. No, he didn’t want to think about Loki’s corpse, alone in a strange land, gore on his chest where the blade pierced clean through, and worms eating out his pale dead skin…

He cursed to himself. The image came unbidden every now and then.

“Svartalfheim is a dead realm where no creatures lived on. _If_ Loki is dead, then yes, you can find his body right at where you left it”, the Gatekeeper stared into the gap on the Bifrost dome where the stars and galaxies scattered like spilled glitters. Tony was taken aback at the Gatekeeper’s implication. If Loki was _not_ dead, then of course there would be no body.

Thor looked from the Gatekeeper back to Tony, and for a moment he looked so much like a lost child than a god that he was. There was hint of hurt on his clear blue eyes.

“What is this?” a voice came from behind Tony… from the dome’s gate. The voice was dangerous, reverberating in the dome of Bifrost. All of sudden, colors washed from Thor’s face.

Something went awry. Slowly, Tony turned his head, and found himself facing an imposing old man. Odin, Tony’s brain supplied. There could be no other man could carry the authority like this guy did.

“Uh”, he gulped. “Hi.”

The old king didn’t spare a glance at him at all. His single eye bored to his son and the Gatekeeper. Said gatekeeper was already bowing to the Allfather. Thor fidgeted nervously, but followed to bow.

“What’s the meaning of this? How many times I told you _not_ to bring mortals to Asgard?” Odin boomed furiously. The grip on his spear was tight. Tony wanted to stay away from the spear’s range. Who knew what the weapon might do to his suit. Mark XLIV was not designed for battle… at least not against Odin.

Thor looked back and forth, from Tony to Heimdall and back again. “I did not—” he wavered. His eyes found Tony’s through the Iron Man faceplate. Oh god, he was as good as dead. He shouldn’t have stalled. He should have forced the Gatekeeper to open the Bifrost and went his merry way.

“It would be my mistake, My King”, the Gatekeeper stated, still bowing. “I should have closed the Bifrost the moment the mortal stepped in.”

“Then why haven’t you sent—”, Odin glanced at him, his eye piercing through the visor. His single eye was so blue, bluer than Thor’s, and deeper as if it held the secret of the universe within. It left Tony to feel so much like a rabbit before a snake. “—this _mortal_ back?”

“Forgive me, My King”, Heimdall apologized.

“Thor”, Odin growled, and Tony swore he could see Thor jumped. He never saw the blond god so jittery before. Honestly, he understood why. Odin was scary as fuck.

Thor strode to Tony’s side. “Forgive me, my friend”, he whispered as he led Tony to the place where the Bifrost would blast him away. He didn’t resist, mostly because all guts had fled since the moment he stared into the almighty blue eyes of Odin.

Tony took a last glance to Odin, who _smirked_.

It happened so fast he almost missed it. He saw the way Odin’s beard ruffled and his single eye slit. In that per second moment, his single eye was full of mirth and promise of something _dark_.

Tony felt as if a hole opened under and sucked him in.

_“You’re missing the point! There’s no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top!” he snarled. Outside, the battle was raging. Aliens started to pour from the hole on the sky, destroying everything on their path. But he had this battle, he had a crazed demigod on his living room to threaten. “Maybe your army comes and maybe it’s too much for us, but it’s all on you.”_

_Words were traded with barbs, and Tony was flung._

_He fell, fell, fell…_

“No…” he whispered.

His hand moved before his mind caught up. The next second, Odin was flung to the wall from a blast straight to the old king’s chest. No, not Odin. Loki! _LokiLokiLokiLok!_ The perfect _beautiful_ terrible man whom plagued his dreams, came back from the land of the dead to dance over the Asgard’s throne.

Every pieces of puzzle slotted into place perfectly, except one. Why? Why Asgard’s throne? To proof that Tony was wrong? Or there was more convoluted scheme on the table?

Tony almost couldn’t notice Heimdall smashed the side of his head with that big-ass sword of him, nor Thor screaming _what are you doing Tony_. It sounded like Pepper, or Steve, when he was doing something stupid. Stupid but brilliant, yet still stupid for Pepper or Steve. He didn’t notice Odin barking order his guards to lock Tony in the dungeon, nor the blackness around the edges of his vision. However, he noticed the way Odin _smirked_ at him just before he lost consciousness.

_ShitshitSHIT_

When he came to his senses, he was laid on the cold hard surface that he assumed was floor. The light was so bright, punching through his corneas straight to his brain. Ow, his head _hurt_. He groaned, trying to block out the light with his hand.

His bare hand.

He sputtered strings of curses as he realized with horror. His armor was stripped off of him, leaving him clad in his black undersuit. Looking around, he searched for the traces of his suit, but there was none of it. None, not even a single piece. He gasped, frantically touching the skin where the sensor was injected underneath, and breathed out in relief sensing that it was still there.

Now with clearer head, he observed his surroundings. He was in a cage, a sort of glass cage in what he assumed was prison in Asgard. Inside the cage was lit brightly white, but outside it was gloom. He could see other cages across his own, filled with dangerous-looking inmates with varied appearance. He thought he could see some with horns or tails, but he wasn’t sure.

The glass surface of the cage looked harmless, though Tony’s experience with strange tech (Extremis, that fucking _shit_ ) had taught him not to touch it with bare hands. He plucked his shoes off and poked the glass with it. It blew off his hand and flung to the wall across the room, which was not surprising at all. There was a putrid smell of burnt leather, but that was that.

So the cage was designed to contain anything inside, which proved his assumption that this was indeed a prison. It left him three questions: how long had passed since he was carried in, where was his suit, and how to get out of here. The glass seemed sturdy enough, but he didn’t know how sturdy. There was a single chair on the room and Tony was really tempted to test the strength of the glass with it.

He wasn’t left too long to consider, because the next moment, the door was slammed open. Three guards marched to his cage, all clad up in golden armor. Wow, if he thought Loki’s horny helmet was horrible, then he should compare to these lackeys’. It curved crescent-like over their head, and Tony felt his neck cramping just by looking at it. Those things should’ve weighed a tonne.

“Anthony Edward Stark of Midgard, Man of Iron, Heroes of Avenger”, the guard at the front declared. No, he seriously declared it as if he was reading the Declaration of Independence. It was so formal that it made Tony’s eyes twitch. “In the name of Odin Allfather, King of Asgard, you shall be hearing your decree for attacking His Royal Highness, Odin Allfather, King of Asgard, in three days forward. Your fate will be decided before the Court.”

Without further ado, two of the guards marched out, leaving one guard staying behind. The guard looked young, what with his lankier body compared to the Declarator. Tony noticed something was definitely off with this guy. Oh, shit, he wouldn’t do something indecent to him, would he? Tony knew he shouldn’t have watched all those bad porns during crazy nighter with Thor. He swore one of them had the scenario like this: an inmate being fucked on the prison floor by the guard.

“What, what do you want?” he asked warily. He probably should be glad with all of those boxing training with Steve.

The guard smiled, and wow, that wasn’t creepy at all, thank you. “You noticed”, he said simply.

What, noticed what? Tony felt himself inching away from the glass cage.

“How to break this, Mr. Stark, I wonder”, the guard pondered. “My name is Frigga. I’m sure Thor had told you a lot about me.”

What. “What.” _What_?

Wait, wasn’t Frigga Thor’s mother? Wasn’t she supposed to be dead? Stabbed through the chest by the Kurse? Oh. _Oh_. “Wow, Thor is being Coulson-ed. Twice.”

Frigga-in-disguise still had that all-knowing little smile. “What intention do you have for my son Loki? I have seen all these months you have been trying to figure the mystery behind my son’s death. What do you want?”

“Er”, Tony replied dumbly. What did he want? He didn’t have answer for that, aside from that he found Loki’s death fishy. _But you mourned_ , the little voice in his head whispered and the image of sleepless night where he slumped in his own mess, clutching tight the bottle of scotch as if it was his only lifeline, came unbidden. Did he? Did he mourn for Loki? “I don’t know.”

He honestly didn’t know why he mourned. He wanted to believe that he wasn’t mourning for Loki. But no matter how long he would sail that river, he couldn’t help but remember how dejected he was when Thor came bringing news of Loki’s death. Dejected. It was such an understatement; he was a _mess_. The question was: why Loki?

Loki was… He didn’t know how to describe the megalomaniacal demigod who came bringing rain and destruction upon his world. _His_. Tony’s. Because he was a greedy, greedy man, and what with all of his technologies being used widely on Earth, the world was as good as his. Seeing this strange man (god?) came and claimed the world as his with that devil-may-care attitude made jealousy burn inside him.

Sure, Loki was brilliant. Loki’s mind was sharp as blade, and his tongue sharper. The short talk about the Universe on that helicarrier was enough for Tony to fathom just how knowledgeable the crazed god was.

And those lips, those scarred lips, which spilled both lies and facts as smooth as silk, whispering truths of the universe and filthy words alike. Every now and then Tony could remember the taste of those lips, of spices and wintergreen; remembered the curve of their smirk, the scarred ends that felt like carved maps. They kissed a lot on that short moment; once Tony had Jarvis to open the cage, they kissed, taunted, moaned, spilled litany of _yes, yes, more_.

Every now and then, he could almost hear Loki’s cry as he reached his peak, clear as if it was happened just while ago. It was a bit strangled as if he didn’t want to give out his heart, but deep and breathy as if he just carved his heart out and let it _go_.

He remembered, in the haze of the aftermath, how he wanted to create a tool to keep the memories, locked them safely in a box to be kept forever. In that brilliant glow, he looked at a beautiful brilliant lonely man instead of the dictator.

“You fell in love to him”, the voice pulled him sharply back to reality. Before him, he could see telltale of teasing smirk forming on the young guard’s lips. No, not young guard, but Loki’s mother. Who was supposed to be dead.

Tony wanted to deny it, no no of course he wasn’t, he didn’t fall in love to the crazy god, of course he didn’t. Instead, he just _gaped_.

“You will understand. In time.”

He accepted it at that, though he still wanted to deny. Damn right, he should have get his priorities right.

Tony licked his lips. “So Loki is alive… and impersonating Odin”, he stated. “Where is the real Odin?” Oh no, Loki didn’t kill him, did he?

“Loki… he put him into Odinsleep”, Frigga answered. “I believe that he wanted his fath—Odin to be alive, while he rules in his stead. He wants to show Odin that he was a better king.”

That was… pretty reasonable, actually. Though he doubted that Loki would rule Asgard as Odin forever, considering just how vain he was. If… _When_ the time was right, he would drop his disguise and show all the Asgardians just how a good ruler he was.

There was another thing that Tony noticed. Despite the calm and collected attitude the Queen-in-disguise had showed, he could tell a hint of worry. Of course she would be, Tony realized with a pang of sympathy. She was supposed to be dead, so she couldn’t act freely to protect her husband and perhaps her kingdom too, lest it would raise Loki’s suspicion.

“What will you do now?” he asked.

The Queen-in-disguise wrung her hand nervously.

“We wait.”

With that, she left, leaving Tony to ponder alone. No, he wouldn’t touch the subject “L” with a ten-foot pole, not in any way. He had other things to think anyway.

He doubted Thor knew everything that happened. Thor wasn’t as dull as he let people believed him as, but sometimes he just couldn’t have the ability to read in-between. Tony somehow pitied the guy for being swept in the whirlpool of family drama, that adorable pup. And Tony thought Steve was naïve…

It was hard to tell the time in the bright cell, so Tony tried to sleep whenever he could. Sure, the cold hard tile was hardly comfortable. At least he had slept on worse situation. When he was awake somewhat later, there was a ruckus outside his cell. Apparently, the guards were distributing foods. It was something like brown goop, overall not very pleasing to the eyes. At least it was edible. Tony didn’t realize just how hungry he was when he licked the plate clean.

The trial day loomed closer. Somehow he wondered if he was allowed to call his lawyer. And Pepper. Oh gosh, Pepper would burst a vein had she know what he did. He almost could hear her angry screeching, _what the hell are you thinking Tony you attacked a King **again**_. Well, on his defense, said king was not really a king, but a fraud impersonating the king. If only he had his lawyer here…

Jake, his lawyer, was a somewhat scary man. He was calm and collected, which made him just plain scary in Coulson-way. When Tony had problem with that German woman, Jake had used the Court _and_ the opposite party to wipe the floor. If there was only a man to free him out of this situation, it was Jake.

He still needed to know where his suit was kept. If all things went awry and he had to stay, like, forever here, in this glass cage, his suit was his only ticket to blast his way out of here. He tried to call it but it didn’t come, so perhaps it was locked somewhere far from him. Damn all these Asgardians. Damn Loki. That suit was shiny new. It was his newborn.

Thor came somewhat later. He wore an ornate dark silver chest-plate with red flowing robe underneath. His hair was shiny gold and plaited in tiny braids. Overall, he just looked majestic, if only he didn’t stomp all the way to Tony’s cell.

There was a frown prominent on his face.

“My friend”, Thor grumbled.

“Hey Thor! Starting the party without me?” Tony smiled wide, wriggling his eyebrows.

Thor ignored him. “What were you _thinking_?” he hissed. An actual hiss. Wow, that was new. Thor never hissed once before.

“Uh, that sounds like something Pepper would say. Did you call Pepper?”

“ _Tony!_ ” Thor growled.

“Okay, answer”, Tony gulped. It seemed that Thor was in no mood for his shit. “I shot Odin because… he’s Loki in disguise?”

Thor turned away from him, all his muscles on his beefy arms seemed to coil as if he was trying really hard not to punch Tony. Or the glass between him and Tony. Tony could saw the way Thor breathed in and out, before the blondie turned to see him again.

“How could you prove that my father is Loki?” he asked, calmly as he could. Tony could see the thunderous storm in his eyes, though.

Tony gulped, and smiled as cheerful as he could. “How could you prove that your father is _not_ Loki?” he asked back.

Something flitted in Thor’s eyes. He left abruptly.

It took some moment for Tony before he realized that Thor had already left. “Oh shiiit…”

He shouldn’t have mentioned it to Thor, should he? No doubt, Thor would beat Loki into a bloody pulp. On the lighter note, perhaps he would be free from the trial. Who knew?

He walked around in circle, fidgeting. He felt so naked in this strange land without his suit, or anything that resembled safety. Worst case scenario, he would destroy the single chair in his cell to make a club of some sort. Though he doubt it would be effective against the strange glass of his cage, let alone against this sturdy superhuman race, if Thor was the shining example of what the Asgardians capable of.

That was when he realized that he wasn’t alone. From the corner of his vision, he caught a woman in beautiful golden robe smiling at him. Her hair was curl of honey-gold spilling down to her back. He didn’t take long to realize who was she. Her eyes were identical to Thor’s.

“Queen Frigga.” And did he ever feel more relieved seeing someone. Perhaps Pepper, when she didn’t flay him first for whatever stupidity he put himself into on the first place. He called out, a bit panicky. “Thor was—”

“I know, Mr. Stark”, she smiled. “You need to get out of here.”

Tony wanted to ask _how_ , but she was already chanting under her breath. Slowly, the glass of his cage started to ripple like water. It ripped smoothly from the ceiling to the floor, leaving a gash wide enough for him to pass. He didn’t waste time and moved out of the cell.

“Follow me”, she told him. With that she walked briskly towards the door. Tony followed, still trying to contact his suit every now and then.

Now that Tony realized it, the prison was oddly silent. Usually there would be inmates yelling or taunting to each other. Now it was just… completely noiseless. Looking around, he found out that the inmates were asleep… or at least they appeared to be asleep. Perhaps Frigga did something to them. Fucking magic.

Outside the prison was completely bare of people. The guards were laying at odd places, unconscious, and Tony sidestepped as not to step on their glinting weapons. Obviously, Frigga did something to them too. He was grateful that he didn’t have to fight his way out… yet.

The Queen led him to the stairs carved from stones, which led to the upper level. There, she gestured Tony to wait while she entered a room, so he stood awkwardly by the snoring guard just by the door. He didn’t have to wait too long, though. The moment she walked out, she was carrying something.

 _His suit!_ Tony leaped with glee. He was quite mesmerized with the way the Queen carried his suit as if it was a mannequin. Then again, she was of Asgard. Of course she was, like, super strong. But whatever. He got his suit back!

“Thank you, Ma’am”, he breathed, grinning from ear to ear. Once she set it on the floor, he activated it, relieved seeing Jarvis’ logo flashed across the screen.

“ _Long time no see, Sir. Glad that you didn’t cause more trouble_ ”, Jarvis mocked. Oh, how he loved to hear his AI again. He would kiss Jarvis just by hearing his voice.

Having his suit around him gave him some comfort. Well, maybe 78% of it. Though the suit was less durable than other series, at least he was protected in his suit. However, it was no time to celebrate. Already Frigga climbed up the next set of stairs. It was a spiral staircase, going up high to the surface. He kicked the thruster on and flew instead to walk, much to her amusement.

The spiral staircase led to the golden hall. He should be in the palace, if any of Thor’s stories were true. Unlike the dungeon where guards were fell asleep here and there, it was completely bare here. It started to creep Tony out. Shouldn’t a place this big have people bustling about? Where were the servants or the guards?

There was a distant noise. As far as they went, the noise started to get louder. Now that he could hear it more clearly, it sounded like metal clanging against metal. _Loki!_ Of course Thor had already busted his disguise! Hastily, he followed the noise.

And he was right. As he reached someplace that seemed like a throne room (an actual throne room, with everything being golden and glinting under the strange light, and it was _massive_ ), Thor was already there, swinging his hammer wildly. Loki, not in his disguise, couldn’t do anything under Thor’s far superior strength. Odin’s spear was lying harmlessly on the other side of the room.

Without thinking twice, Tony propelled himself to the midst of battle. He accidentally knocked Thor on the shoulder, but he could care less. Loki was here! He was alive! Seeing him standing there made his chest bubbling with joy.

“Hey”, Tony giggled. Seriously giggled. What the _hell_. Loki eyed him strangely as if he was torn between murdering Tony with his eyes and looking at him endearingly.

“Friend Tony”, Thor growled. Whoops. Yeah, he forgot that Thor was there too. “Move, or I will end you along with this _traitor!_ ”

Tony wanted to retort something snarky, but Frigga chose that very moment to enter the scene, her robe flowing behind her. “That’s enough, you two!” she yelled.

Both Loki and Thor looked at her as if they were seeing ghost, which was probably quite true from their perspectives. Thor’s eyes were on the size of saucers and his hand went slack. Mjollnir fell to the floor with loud thud.

Thor recovered first. He swooped his mother off the floor, rocking her back and forth. He still had this disbelieving expression on his face, and he was laughing and crying at the same time. Frigga was laughing too. She patted Thor on his back while murmuring _enough my dearest put me down right now_.

Meanwhile, Loki was still gaping like a fish, looking utterly lost. Tony noticed that several emotions flashing across his face: hurt, joy, incredulity, _regret_. He made a noise that could be a whimper, but Tony wasn’t sure.

Loki left so abruptly. He just did that, fleeing from the throne room. Tony exclaimed in surprise, before following him. He didn’t know why he followed Loki. He only wanted to comfort him, and he didn’t even know why he wanted to comfort the crazy god who had attacked New York.

No, not love. Obviously, it was not because of love.

When Tony reached the Bifrost, he found the dark skinned gatekeeper was leaning against the dome-like structure, thankfully asleep. It horrified him though, just how strong Frigga’s magic was, to affect the entirety of Asgard, but it was convenient so he didn’t mind it.

Loki was there, peering over the gleaming bridge, dangerously close to the edge, looking down below. Tony felt his throat tight. Suddenly, he remembered the time where Thor told him about Loki’s fall.

_“He just did that. Letting go. I told him ‘No, Loki!’, but he let go…” Thor’s voice was heavy with tears, and Tony knew what it meant. Loki meant to end it all. He meant to off himself._

“No, don’t do that”, Tony pleaded. There was some distance between them, and he didn’t want to come closer, not if that would provoke Loki to jump for real. His heart hammered in his chest. What was he supposed to do?

Loki’s eyes were sharp when he glared at Tony. “Why do you _care_?” he spat the last word with such bitterness that wrench something inside Tony. It didn’t occur to him just how broken this beautiful man was. To be cast aside, rejected, again and again. Sure, it didn’t justify him for starting a war, a genocide. Yet Tony knew, had been there, done that. Without Yinsen, Pepper, Steve, or even Thor by his side… he didn’t know. Perhaps, he would be cold, dark thing that was Loki. He would raze those who harmed him, perhaps. Burning them at stakes while he danced over the fire.

Or maybe he would choose to end himself, drowning in the blood of those he killed, or his weapons killed.

“I…” Tony paused. Why did he care? Why did he care if Loki died? He remembered the news of Loki’s death, the binge, the grief, the hollowness inside him that couldn’t be filled even when he downed the vodka, the scotch, everything, again and again and again until he couldn’t. “I don’t know”, he muttered, honest to the core. He was supposed to be genius, with his mind ahead of everyone else. Yet he still couldn’t answer it. _Love_ , Frigga told him so easily. It wasn’t. It _wasn’t_ , he denied.

There was something flitted in Loki’s eyes, and Tony didn’t expect it when he _flinched_ as if he was burned.

Tony wanted to comfort him, to explain, to plead _please please don’t go there I got you_. Yet he didn’t know what to say, what words to explain, to comfort, and his throat felt just too tight.

When Loki jumped over the bridge, he followed.

It was foolish, he knew. He didn’t know why he did it, as if his body moved on its own. He grabbed Loki and held him close; right at that moment, he felt _whole_. Loki’s body a perfect fit in his arms and it felt just _right_. He laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed until he couldn’t anymore, and only then he allowed himself to sob.

“You don’t know what you have done to me”, he choked. The body within his arms fell limp.

Loki hummed, leaning his chin on the crook of the suit’s shoulder pad. Tony was very careful with his grip, but Loki would have none of it. He looped his arms around the suit tightly like Tony was his lifeline. The stars and galaxies danced around them, and Asgard and the Bifrost was nothing but a speck of stardust in the vastness of the Void.

“I think you don’t know what you have done to me too…” Loki whispered.

Tony counted it as a win.

—

Tony wakes to Loki’s feet tangled to his own, the light on their cabin dimmed to almost dark. As usual, Loki’s skin is colder than his, but he finds himself doesn’t mind it much. Sometimes, though, Loki will whine that Tony makes him overheated, but Tony knows he’s only teasing him. In fact, he usually finds Loki searching for Tony’s body amongst the sheet and pressing close to him. Not that Loki will admit it loudly. Such a vain asshole he is.

Three years has passed since they jumped over the Bifrost. The fall felt like eternity to them, passing galaxies through galaxies. Up till today, Tony still couldn’t comprehend how Loki could survive the condition of no-air. They crash-landed in a rainforest, on a planet somewhere outside the reach of Yggdrasil, where they recuperated for five months.

At first, Loki had been distant. Sometimes he would hiss and curse at Tony. He had been a ruler, a king, and still would be if only Tony didn’t intervene. They couldn’t go back to Asgard or Earth (Midgard, Loki called it), or at least Loki couldn’t. He was so sure Thor had outlawed him, hunted him until he was caught and punished for usurping the throne. Tony offered a sort of diplomatic protection if they wanted to return to Earth, but Loki glared at him scathingly, so that was that.

In the end, wherever Loki went, Tony followed.

They stole a spacecraft from a military base, and Tony had tried his best to write Jarvis’ program to fit the ship. Since then, they have been travelling from planets to planets. The geek in Tony can’t still get over the fact that yes, this is his wet dream comes true. They’ve been alternating between learning new technologies (Tony) and avoiding another races from the Nine Realms (Loki).

Sometimes Tony misses his home. He misses Pepper and the way she looks at him as if he’s a petulant child. He misses Steve and their breakfast dates together. Sometimes, it gnaws at him, but he can’t leave. He doesn’t want to leave, not until Loki wants to return.

He’s still refusing to believe that he falls in love to Loki. Tony Stark doesn’t do love. He loves only bits and parts of this amazing man ( _god_ , Loki insists). He loves the way Loki rolls his eyes, but smiles endearingly anyway, when Tony gets a hold of new technology. He loves the way Loki laughs, so damn contagious and unbridled. He loves the tilt of Loki’s head and his innocent smile, whenever Tony catches him scheming for yet another mayhem. He loves the way Loki’s nose buried deep in a book, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Moreover, he loves the way Loki smiles, languidly, and they will kiss long and deep without the care of everything.

The same smile is now displayed on that beautiful face.

“I know you’re awake, Frosty Toes”, Tony smiles.

Loki pouts. “Stop cuddling me, Tony”, he chides. It’s an actual pout, and Tony kisses it away.

“Well, seeing as it’s your legs that tangled mine to bed, I say stop cuddling me, you Cuddly Monster”, Tony smirks, then kissing the tip of Loki’s nose. He laughs when Loki scrunches his face. If someone told him three years ago that the word ‘Loki’ and ‘adorable’ could be in one sentence, he would laugh himself to die.

He kisses the top of Loki’s head just because he could. His black hair is a mess of curly threads. It’s another thing that Tony loves about Loki, the dark haired god is just too adorable with his curly hair, especially if it’s disheveled after their bouts of sex. Unfortunately, Loki is too vain to let it unkempt.

Suddenly, he finds Loki frowning at him.

“I won’t apologize about yesterday”, the dark haired man tells him.

 _Oh well…_ Tony mused. Yesterday was a mess. Three days before, they clashed path with Asgardian traders’ ship. Apparently, the trader had reported back to Asgard that they had found the outlaw Loki, so they were not surprised to find a battalion of Asgard’s finest right at their tail. Loki had burned them all to death. Tony had been pissed because he thought the death was unnecessary, but Loki had thrown back that he was such craven, he should have returned to Midgard with his tail between his legs. They had a spat, which ended with a spectacular angry sex.

Now that Tony thinks about it, he finds that it can’t be helped. It’s either that or they’re dragged back to Asgard in chains. Tony still fancies his new life as space traveller, thank you.

“Nah, it’s fine”, he smiles. “I’m not angry at you anymore.”

Loki hums and lets Tony kiss his nose again. Loki is so pliant like this, so tame. No trace of all the chaos hidden deeply underneath, the exploding wild fire. The God of Fire, Tony remembered.

Tony traces the row of scars on Loki’s lips. He has memorized it by now, each bump and dip. It’s a trace of bad memory, but Tony can’t help himself. He loves this part just like he loves another bits and parts that is Loki.

Sure, they are not perfect. There are things that they disagree to each other. Tony disagrees with Loki’s habit to make people suffer just because he feels like it. Loki disagrees with Tony’s naivety, as Loki calls it. Some of their fights are not completely harmless, not to Tony anyway. He’s usually left bruised and battered, and broken femur for that one time. But they always try to cope, to bear each other’s presence.

If anyone asks him why doesn’t he just leave, well, he really doesn’t have an answer. Maybe he can finally tolerate Loki with all his ups and downs. Maybe he simply doesn’t want the sci-fi dream-come-true to stop yet. Whatever it is, it’s definitely not love, because Tony Stark doesn’t do love.

When Loki breathes into his ear somewhat later, “I think I might keep you for now”, he’s fine with that. He has Loki in his arms.

Earth can wait.

**Author's Note:**

> aaand, it's done. it's basically 5k-ish worth of bromance and only 1k-ish worth of fluff. sooo... i'm sorry? ;w;
> 
> the part where Thor prepared a Viking burial is based from a meta from tumblr. i didn't remember the exact wording, but the point is: Thor being the only one who grieves for Loki, prepares a Viking burial. of course there's no body so Thor replaces it with Loki's own personal belongings.
> 
> while i know the purpose of Frigga's death in the movie, i'm still strongly against it. it was too unbelievable that she died so easily like that, while another asgardians had suffered worse injuries (Fandral with the Frost Giants on Thor 1 and Loki with his fall and his spat with Hulk). well, maybe it's my in-denial speaking. so, i make her death a sort of Coulson-style because why not?


End file.
